Getting Old, Bike Vandalism, Pineapple on Pizza and Smelly Coins

00:00Welcome to These The Two Shouldn't Have a Podcast. And today I'm disgusted by the smell of poles and coins from his pocket.

00:11Twenty pence?

00:12It's like I feel like the prostitute you take a bit. Right, pick up the two the two coppers. Are they coppers? Well they used to be, yeah.

00:20Right.

00:20Coppers. Right. Sort of like rub 'em in your fingers. No, but one in each hand. Just in case one isn't a stinky penny and the other is.

00:31Right.

00:32Where does the genie come in? Right, now put put 'em down. Smell your fingers. Follow copper. It's not copper. Follow copper. It's not copper. Copper does metal doesn't smell. Copper does. Metal doesn't fucking smell. Right, okay, so what are you what are we swallowing them? The stuff on the coins.

01:29You ready? Bottom ready.

01:34Free and it's free as the what, is it? It's free as the what? The wind blows. Does it?

01:44Well, you said you weren't gonna sing anyway. I could stay, I'll don't do it. Yeah, you didn't bother. Never fucking sing it. Better than that. Exactly. Well I think the thing is, I think yeah, I think I can hold them out. I think I can sing. I just I just have such a fear of the judgment. Who's judging you? People who hear it. Who cares? Me. See, that's the problem. I've got a real hang up about being judged. Really? I to judge you, you'd be I don't know, really. He would read the tonality. Correct, yeah. And he'd probably come back and say, Yeah, you can fucking sing. Don't go to karaoke though, because all those dickheads won't judge you. Anyway, that's bias. I don't get it. Uh right, just sing. If you're happy, sing. If you're sad, sing. Right, sorry. I want to play a game. Try him to play the game. No, no, it's no, it's not wrestling. It's not wrestling, it's sore, it's sinister, it's I want to play a game. Right? That's why. Can you remember the finish the sentence? I can. And can you remember the rules of of Yeah, when you shut up, I finish it off.

02:59It's not less up a show. When I start talking, you finish. Yeah. Right. So I'm gonna say part of the sentence. Yes. I'll finish it off? Yeah. So right. Okay. You ready? Go on. As ready as you're gonna be. Yeah. You know you're getting old when you end up in the middle and that's what the toilet. Oh no, that's just a prostate problem.

03:29You get up in the middle of the toilet. Are there other problems that cause that? Is that just an age thing? Or is that an enlarged prostate? I have no idea. Is it male and female? I just I don't know. I don't get up in the middle of the night to all the toilet. I'm not at all, no. Fuck off. I do. At all. I tell you what, if I don't, I wake up in the morning and I think I'm really fucking burst. How does the human right when when you're really desperate for a piss in the middle of the night and you know for hours to the extent that you know you've you've ballooned up. Right. How do you not piss yourself? How does your body know not to piss the bat?

04:10I don't know because I don't not have to, you know, when I get up, I'll go the toilet. Well, so do I, but sometimes I get up in the morning, it's like, oh my fucking god. No, no, no, you thought I'd just go for me, just hold for me piss. Maybe you don't go drink enough?

04:29Maybe you don't drink enough.

04:30No, I'm just I'm just a bit conf right. I'd have thought pissing or not is a conscious decision. It's a decision you make. Like if you're desperate, yeah, right, for a piss and you're on the motorway, yeah, you're making a conscious decision of I can't piss. It'll be hard to clear off. And it's embarrassing. Yeah. And so I'll go to the service station. It's a conscious decision. So how does your body, right? How does your mind control that when it's not consciously thinking? It's unconscious. It's all connection to you, but ain't no, isn't it? Your brain's quite clever, then really, yeah. It's basically constantly saying that's don't piss yourself, don't piss yourself, don't piss yourself, even though you don't know it. It's saying that. Until you trained it to do that though. Yeah, because because yeah, because what happens is when you're a baby, you just piss any of it, don't you? Yeah. So eventually you just trained yourself. So, like when you go to school, you get told you can't you can't piss in school. You know what I mean? So hang on, you went to school and then she just told you, Paul, stop pissing in each chat. Never known, yeah.

05:39It's actually we we had um from from our daughter's primary school, we we we actually had a letter at home that was basically saying about you know, you really do need to train your kids before you send them to school. It's not our job, it's not our job.

05:54That's right, it's right, anyway.

05:56But yeah, uh so so so that's that that's a that's a sign of getting old. I would say so, yeah. Getting up for a piss in the middle of the night is a sign of getting old. I think so. So so you reckon I'm a lot older than you then? Well, you are a lot older than you. We're still older, we were both born in the same year. Still older a lot, no. No, a lot older. Well, I'll tell you what, you've got coming in the next two or three months, then.

06:23You're not gonna get up for a piss.

06:25So, what what what other things do you reckon are a sign of age? See, see, I think a sign of age is getting quite depressed about the shit that you can't do anymore that you didn't even used to fucking consider. Give me an example. So our our our lawn doesn't get cut anywhere near as often as it used to, right? I'll let it overgrow a little bit. And before now, like as a youngster, I'd have been out there cutting the lawn, cutting the hedges, doing all this sort of shit, and then I'd come in and probably have a beer of beer a lager, can of lager, something like that. Now, fuck me. I feel like I'm dying, and then for like two or three days after, I can't fucking move. My arms are hurting, shoulders are hurting, my back's hurting. That is that's a sign of your body getting fucking acted, right? Right, so that's your sign of your body getting acted. Doesn't mean it's getting older, you're choosing not to do the dignity because every time I do it, I feel like shit, was it? No, no, I'm not saying no, no. You said getting depressed. No fucking hell. Jesus, fuck it's fucking psychologist here. I'm just saying, you said I find it depressing when I can't do that. No, okay, let me choose that. Let me rephrase it. A sign of getting old is realising you can't do the shit you used to do that you didn't even used to consider would ever be a problem for you. Do you get me now? Okay. You hear me now. So let me let me throw this back at you now. I might have to catch him all exactly. My business up. But you get 80, 90-year-old people still loving doing gardening. They don't feel the way you do. So are you saying that this is just a fitness thing or a mental thing?

08:12Yeah, both.

08:14Fucking hell. Yeah, and it's a choice.

08:20It makes me feel like shit, then there you go. But if you did it more, you'd you'd be used to it, and then you wouldn't feel that way, wouldn't you? That's fair. I mean I mean I mean talking gardening with the wrong person. My mum used to come down look up like that.

08:36You you hadn't had your mother cutting your grass for you. Shouldn't it be the other one? Well, to be fair, she got me stu she got me dad to do it. Oh, so she organized your grass being cut. Connect. But that that's still quite embarrassing though, mate. You didn't cut your own grass. No, it no, it's not. Why is it embarrassing? Well it was principal. Principle? Yeah. I own it, I'm not cutting it. Yeah. And when your neighbours are saying no, you should cut your grass. No, I shouldn't. Oh, yeah, okay, I'm with you. I'm with you there. So so that was that. So then, yeah, so we won't used to come down and she'd say to me, Dad, Puss is grass. So we did, because he enjoyed it. Well, that's fair enough. So I wasn't gonna take it away from me, so I'll let it grow. Let it grow. Let it grow. Yeah. Um should cut my grass anymore. Correct.

09:22There you go. T older than out again. So yeah.

09:27But

09:30so you're saying you feel older because you can't do the things that you want to do. Yeah, mighty. Well, no, it's not that I can't do the same, it's that I feel the the effects of having done the thing.

09:45Okay, yeah, I get that. Yeah.

09:49I'd say that's a sign of age. Uh well, yeah, maybe it's I think it's more of a sign of laziness to be honest, but yeah. Okay. Fucking hell. You've been a bit of a bullet today, Paul. Take care of your own back for all the episode, sorry, take the piss out of you. Yeah. Twice. Well, comes around, goes around. Right, very go round of life. That's bad. Um but this is you're taking the piss out of me for cutting my own grass and feeling it.

10:16Yeah.

10:17When you used to get your elderly parents to cut your grass for first and foremost, they'll go mad if the you're elderly because they're not that old. Okay, older than you. Yeah, older than me. Older than you. Older than we are. Now we are, yeah. And they still would have done it. Yeah, fuck off. My mum, my mum can't know more. Right? Because she's got the ear. So, uh, but yeah, so she can't do that no more. So if you get your wife to do it now, then we haven't got any grass. Oh, right, so you took there, she does the weeding null. So one day you looked out, you looked at the grass and you thought, I ain't fucking doing that. Flagstones. That's the answer. No, what we did was we got rid of the house and moved to another house, which had flagstones. You took drastic right, you looked at the grass and you thought, never fucking doing that. We need to move, love. Yeah. I can't pick up the grass. I see. Right. There's plenty of green we don't need it in my house. Oh, that's true. Okay. That's true. Okay, I got along with that. I got along with that. Right. Tell me about a situation where you were 100% certain that you were right. And you and you weren't. And you and afterwards you knew you were, it was proven to you that you were completely fucking wrong.

11:38I can't. Oh fuck off. I can't. You must be wrong all the time. Because even when I'm right, I'm wrong. Even when you're right, wrong. Even when I'm wrong, I'm right as well. See? That's what I'm saying. I can put it, I can put it different ways. I don't know. I genuinely couldn't answer the question.

11:59Okay.

12:00I genuinely couldn't answer a time when I was totally

12:06in the wrong when I thought I was in the right. So you've never like had a real sort of like not an argue or so, but disagree or you said, no, fuck off, you're wrong. You know, it's definitely this, it's definitely that, it's definitely this. And then thought, actually, you know. Um probably with myself. You argue with yourself. Yeah. Why'd you do that? I don't anymore, but I used to. It's like you're arguing with me there. Yeah, it's like you sat there going, no doubt. Yeah, I do. No doubt. Sure up you. I would I would say probably with myself. More so. Isn't that just talking yourself out of shit? Isn't that just uncertainty? No, because I was honestly convinced that when I used to gamble was the right way to go. And then I realised I was telling a lie to myself. So yeah. But isn't isn't that just part of the the addiction of the feeling that's skewing your judgment? That's poor poor judgment though, isn't it? Not when you're in the moment it's not enough. Right. Because you just you you don't see it as that until it gets ironed and then it's too late then, anyway. That's when you start seeing it that way. But yeah, so I I would probably say that's probably the only time where I've been totally convinced that I was doing the right thing and I was wrong. It's quite scary that isn't it? The insight of what's going through somebody's mind. Yeah. When that kicks in. Yeah. Which which you find you help people with this now. I mean that's well yeah, it it is, but anyway, Dr. A bit more bit quite quick. It did. Uh but you asked me the question, I'll give you the answer. I mean, uh I think I think I'd like to know what yours is. What the the the age thing? No, the the question you've just asked me. What do you mean the age thing with? Well, of course not talking about age. That's in the um 100% right. To be honest, all the fucking time. All the fucking time. Exactly. I am shit. I think I've got I think I've got so used to technology with to-do lists and action plans, project plans, notes that I do. Um I I really have become a fucking goldfish. It's like I seem to be able to retain I I sponge knowledge so much throughout my life, right? Right. And then I think when I got to 50, that was I think my brain just said, nah, fuck off. There's enough shit in there now. There's no more room to find another way of storing shit that you learn. Genuinely, I used to be able to learn all sorts of shit. Now it can retain fuck all. So to be honest, I'm always losing arguments with with with the wife. But bear in mind the wife's got multiple sclerosis, she's got memory recall issues, and yet she still fucking wins. I mean, to be fair, the women always win anyway, don't we? We have to let them win a little bit, don't you? Well from all that's not a good thing. Women will be watching. So uh you're right all the time. Yeah, you are right all the time. Yeah, you're right all the time, sometimes. Um, so you say, yeah, I mean, I I can't even think of one specific because it's all the time. Yeah, it's it's it's quite a tricky question that you'd asked, to be fair. Um you didn't want to out yourself. No, it wasn't that. I I I've just outed myself to be fair. Like, you know, um always been wrong. Yeah, but it no, it was uh yeah, I think it's just a case of it. It's quite a difficult question to answer. When you're 100% convinced, I think you just genuinely still believe it, even when you're proven that it doesn't, it's not the right thing. Yeah, it's a good point. Yeah, because even even yeah, I must admit, even when someone's someone's proven me to be wrong, I'll still be thinking, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where for me it's like Yeah, where it was for me, it was different. I proved to myself that it was wrong. Yeah, but the t issue in the situation I put myself in, I proved that was wrong, even though at that time I thought it was right.

16:08So yeah, anyway, good question, not me. Good question.

16:12You've got to get a bit of doubt.

16:14Well we we're allowed that sometimes. You know me.

16:18You know, anyway, we can see the funny side of the things. Stop looking at me like that, dad. Yeah, anything.

16:25Uh teacher? Well, dang you. Uh actually my RE teacher used to look like that all right often. I don't know. R A teachers.

16:33Yeah.

16:34Did you know what he was called? Go on. Mr. Bates. Yeah. He was young once and you know. He probably was, wasn't he? Wasn't a mister then? No, he was master. Well, see, I didn't go down that route, I didn't even say it. Oh, fuck off. That's the radio going. R R A teacher. R R E fucking R A R R R R R R R I mean that's not gonna come out well on audio podcast, is it? Doesn't matter.

17:05I'll show you. I was just gonna say

17:13I'm gonna do it again again. The RE teacher, the religious education teacher at my secondary school. So it's got called Mr. Jones. And he was really interesting, but he was very opinionated. Oh, okay. Very, very opinionated. And and bear in mind as well, this was like in the fucking hell. This is in the late 80s, secondary school, late 80s, early 90s. And there was all sorts of rumours going on about him. And um and I don't know why. Can we go there on the I mean rumours that that now aren't aren't bad, but at the time, you know, late 80s, early 90s, don't want to say things that were taboo, but things that you weren't as as as commonplace, right? So without without going into too much detail, he was he was not a standard run-of-the-mill, what you'd expect, especially as an RE teacher, because he was he was like very religious as well. Oh, okay, I think I'd be a good one. Christian, you know, very very strong Christians sometimes have very strong beliefs about how you should lead your life. But anyway, this riled quite a few people, and there was there was a situation where, first of all, he got all of his tyres let down on his car.

18:31Right.

18:32And then so we started Cheshire, by the way. Yeah, cool. Yes, Cheshire, Cheshire, Dantwich in Cheshire. Um, so he had all his tires let down, supposed something in the fifth year, because they used to call it the fifth year when we were in school, right? It was year 11, 12, why fifth year. Some fifth year kids did it. So we then he used to stop coming on his bike and he had like one of these bikes. You remember the old the old postman's bikes with the bike in front? Yes, or all behind the seats. He was more of the persuasion of having something behind his seat. Oh I'll leave that one out. No, but the very straight bars, the very sit-up and sit up straight. So he he started coming on his bike because he had his car vandalised. So some 50 year kids went to the metal work room, got a hacksaw, sort of his bike. He is bullying, but it was funny because there's just this little stack of metal. I mean, it's literally everything, his handlebars were cutting hard, his fray was coming to about five or different pieces. I mean, I wasn't involved before you say anything. I've all shown anything, not do you guys. But do you not think that's quite funny? No, I don't. I mean, he wouldn't have been insured. Not necessarily. Did you show a little bike when you were a kid? He wasn't a kid. He was a growing ass teacher. Have you had a bike since when you've been in grown house at adult? Oh, bikes in the house contents insurance. Um might not have had it back then. But anyway, the the point being, I can't even remember how we got onto this, but yeah, our teacher. Yeah, um, yeah, he had his bikes or little bits, which I thought was quite funny.

20:07Oh, okay.

20:08So how teacher to be a bastard?

20:10Well, yeah. We're still ambassador after that, to be fair.

20:13But never mind. What what's your what's your most fond memory from school? Leaving? Really? Really? Yeah, I got both school. Not by me. No, we weren't in my school. We were in different schools. But hell, yeah. Um no, I just wanted to play football and stuff, to be fair. Um you know me. That was that was it. I'd go in every day, play footy. Come on. Uh but yeah, I was telling or leave it. We're not schooling.

20:43No.

20:44See, I I I quite liked it. I was I was a bit nerdy. Yeah.

20:51Things just sort of came natural. Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm I no, I'm not that that well. I didn't this is how bad it was. I didn't realise I could have gone to university until my sons went to university. That's a big gap of knowledge for a long fucking time. I didn't realise I could have got pretty much paid. I mean, you've got to get certain grades still. In fact, no, anybody can go to uni, but you just which uni and which course, depending on what grade you got.

21:24Yeah. You didn't know that.

21:26No, didn't know that until like some uni.

21:29Fucking hell. Yeah.

21:30So there you go. I was I was gonna go to uni. I'd applied, I'd got accepted place in Wolverhampton. Okay. Overroad to overroad two. You do orange chips down there, I think. What was that Birmingham?

21:43Orange, yeah.

21:44Somewhere around there. Orange chips. Yeah, basically chips and batter. Anyway, move on. Battered chips.

21:52What's it? What do you mean that smacks? What's a smack?

21:58That's all smack. They're called smacks. What are? Chips. When when you buy a slice of potato, a scholar. Scroll. Smack. They're also known as smacks. Okay. Oh yeah. Well, it's the same as baps, batches, bums. Depending on you are, it's a colloquialism. Colloquialism? That's the right word. Colloquialism. Right, okay. A smack. Yeah, it's a natural. Not being funny, right? When I was a kid, if I went in the chippy and said, can I have a smack? You're a smack. Yeah, if you've got to. I've only got one. Age of you got any chips left, can have a smack instead. Well, I'll tell you what, you don't get very well, you don't get all round here from the chippy. Savory cakes.

22:46You mean like savory rolls? No. A savoury cake was a little bit of well, if you if you if you put it. If you posh, you've got a little bit of fish. If you put a little bit of fish. Is that why you're doing that? Yeah. But it was like mashed potato with parsley in in a batter. Fish cake.

23:07No.

23:07It's just a fucking fish cake. It was like that fish. It's a fish cake. No, it wasn't. It was a savoury cake. Convince me that's not a fish cake. Fish cakes are flatter. No, you can get different types of fish cakes. Yeah, we were flatter. And do we have bread crumbs? Yeah, you can get some fish cakes like that, but then what they class is a homemade fish cake. It's then more of a how many chippies have you been in two with homemade fish cakes? No, you get them bird's eye ones which have got bread crumbs on them. But they're like the odd they're like the typical fish cake. But no, you can get what did you call it? A savory cake. Savory. Savoury? Just a savoury cake. It's just a fish cake. Okay. We'll leave it there. But what's what's what's in it? Fish. Sometimes potato. Sometimes, but a lot of times it's just like mash and potato but party and a batter.

23:56Right, okay, so I'm gonna I'm gonna put it out there. Forget your questions, right? I've got one for I've got a question for you.

24:06Should food have spices or flavouring on it? And tell me why.

24:21Yes, food should be seasoned because most standard food, like most proteins like steak, chicken and stuff, are very bland without at least salt, pepper, or some spice or or something. Right.

24:41But the history of spices and shit was was to hide the fact meat was rotting and going off and stuff, I believe. I believe as far as curries are concerned, I think it was to mask the fact that that the meat was on the turn. Right. But we're beyond that now, right? That's not an issue now. The food standards agency stops that shit happening. But yeah, in in general, I think the food should be spiced up a little bit. You eat you eat pork, but it's boring. You eat just a chicken breast on its own, it's boring, it needs something on it. Do you not have gravy? Do you not have gravy on shit? I have gravy.

25:20So it's why you come in. No, my my my point is why do we now feel that it's right to constantly flavour food that we buy you? Well, because food seems to have gone flavourless, to be honest. But if you go to a decent butcher or something, oh yeah, well that's that's definitely gonna ruin that meat as well. Possibly not. You know, if I if I had like a really decent steak from like a little artisan butcher or something, I would probably just you know cook it in butter, maybe put a little bit of pepper, ground pepper on top, that would do me. Whereas go to a supermarket and you get a steak, it's that big until you start frying it or grilling it, and then it calves the size, it tastes dead bland, and you're gonna have to put something with it together. I just I just genuinely don't get why you don't want to taste food anymore. Not you personally, well, just in general. But do you not think it's just a time? In fact, there's a few bits of of evidence over recent years that show that food has become more bland, right? So, for example, you know, like five a day fruit. Yes, fruit and veg, we'd have five a day. They reckon now, in today's standards, you'd need to eat three times that amount because the way that they'd be genetically altered to make them look big and plumper and pumped with water, and the vitamin C is now a lot more watered down. Um you know, they reckon the food but it's the same with all food, like supermarket meats and stuff, like the chicken has stuff pumped into it. Yeah, it's it's a lot of it's water now, yeah. Um so do you not think that it's just a time the times so isn't that the problem now? Yes, yes, it is. Do you know what I mean? That way, if we didn't mask it, surely they would revert after revert because we wouldn't buy it. Well no, because that they're just looking after profits, aren't they? But all we're doing is buying that shit stuff, flavouring it up to tickle our taste buds. Ticking your fans. Yeah. Because uh and them are still lying in their pockets. Well, what's the alternative? You have a sheep yourself and you we slaughter it, and then you eat it. Who you can do that? It's not very convenient, is it? Well, no, it's not all what all I'm saying is it's like well, what are you putting in your body? Where are all these flavours coming from? Do you know what I mean? It's like just it's a good point. It's like where do you stop? Yeah, in yeah, 20-30 years from now, we're all just gonna be eating cardboard with salt on it. Exactly. Oh, we'll put a bit of pepper on that, it'll be right. Oh delicious. Do you know what I mean? It's sort of like where margarine comes from. I mean you're not a margarine eater, are you? Occasionally. Oh, really? Yeah, it doesn't bother me that all. You know, margarine is is is is basically it's it's derived from a petrochemical. It's plastic, basically plastic.

28:15Yeah.

28:16Isn't everything though? Well, butter isn't. Natural butter isn't. So flipping this now, you're saying that you know people might be quite judgmental over your slightly unusual to them choice of things. What is the most unusual thing that you do eat or like that other people probably think, what the fuck is that like? Broad beans, hardly a large broad beans or sprouts, right? So if you turn around and said, I fucking love sprouts. I love sprouts. I love sprouts, but now they've got to be cooked a certain way. Don't how do they have to be cooked? They've got to be mushy. Why? Well, because we can't do uh uh half cooked veg. It's not half cooked, half-cooked. So you won't eat steamed veg then? You you want it nuked, so it's like baby food. I want it to melt and be off. Food doesn't melt. Same difference. See, the wife's like that. Lama's like that. She she likes or she used to, where she used to like veg like really sort of I'd say overdone.

29:26Yeah.

29:26Whereas I like it to have like if I've got carrots, like or carrot sticks that have been cooked or steamed. Do you eat raw carrots done? No. No, no, but I will I will eat al dente. Is it al dente? No, half cooked, half half cooked, yeah. I think half cooked or steamed, you know, quite often when you steam veg, as long as you don't steam it for too long, it comes out with a slight resistance when you eat it. See, I think veg tastes a lot better like that. Yeah, I don't know. So sprouts? I feel like my sprouts, yeah. About chocolate sprouts? You can get chocolate sprouts. Sprout sprouts put in chocolate. Yeah, it's not right, is it?

30:05Well, it's not really now.

30:06You know what I mean? It's like peat fried bars ballots. I'm not right, Artie.

30:08No, not really, not really.

30:10But that's you know, uh, it's like pineapple on a pizza. Sh never fuck off. Well, you you're that absolute, it should fucking happen. The best pizza in the world. Margarita, what that's not even a pizza. Well, it is. That's like that's like that's like the pizza guy, right, has took an urgent phone call when he's just put the base on, ready to put the other shit. He's you know, his wife's gone into labour and he's fucked off and left dominoes, and they thought, don't know where he's up to with that. What was the owner? Fuck it, we'll we'll cook it anyway and send it out. That's what a margarita pizza is. It's not a pizza. There is more thought and prep on a keys pizza bug garlic bread than there is a margarita pizza. Do you not think? I like margarita pizza.

31:00Pineapple shouldn't be anywhere near the pizza. Mate, mate, one of the best pizzas in the world, as far as I'm concerned, is a vegetarian bizarre. There's a place near us that does a veg veg pizza, and it is amazing because they put like garlic olive oil on it, um, and then they've got all of these different veg, sweet corn, pineapple, it is emergency. What pineapple's not veg? Well, it's but I put pineapple on it as well. I kind of asked the pineapple on it. Because it's the sweet and savoury Chinese dishes. Will you not eat things like um chicken and pineapple? No. Sweet and sour. No, no, no. So you you can't mix two types of you can't mix two types. So, like you you probably wouldn't like banana fritters, then would you? No. Because they're like savoury and sweet. Yeah. You can't no. I'm not judging, by the way. No, no, no. I'm not judging. Oh. Have you have you tried them and not wipe them, or have you just done it? I tried I tried not sweet and sour stuff. It's just I'll rub a linen. Lemon chicken. Lemon lemon chicken Chinese dishes are amazing. I wouldn't go out and buy it. But if it's it like an all-you-can-eat, buffet style, probably take a little spoonful and try it. And that'll be it. Do you know what I mean? But uh talking of all you can eat, I went for I went for one the other day. The tapas one, Spanish tapas. Destroy that. Yeah, did 12 dishes. Two of them were garlic red, cheesy garlic red. That's almost like a pizza for you, though. There's a no margarita there. Do you do you not think that cheese and onion pies or cheese and onion paces just smell like people with beer? Not when I make it myself at home, no. No. My old secret recipes, no. But when you go somewhere like uh one of these bakeries, they just smell they're not appetizing. No, I do like them to be fair. I do like the taste. I like the fact that there's

33:05no. Do you know what I mean? Oh well. You've got pound bakery and it's not. It's a pound, you know, it's not though, is it? Well no, no.

33:15There used to be. Not what you used to get two for the quid. No. No. It's like pound land. Half of the stuff in there, five.

33:25You know what I mean? Or pound land. Well, it's not pound land. Where's where's where's the whole standards training standards coming? You know what I mean? Bit fucking wrong though, right? Yeah. 125. Call it the 125 shop then. Wonder they can't keep changing the fucking name, can't they, with inflation?

33:40Well, but why why not?

33:42Shouldn't be called the pound shop, then shouldn't it? No. No, it shouldn't. Shouldn't bad bad choice. Batch tonight, it's bad choice. Used to be one in there used to be one in the town centre, there, 99p shop it was. Everything in there was 199p. Which you sound expensive. Why?

33:59Because everything went up, didn't it? A couple of months. Do it in a 99p anymore.

34:04I you know what I had I had seen in one P for a few years now. I was just thinking about paying for something in the 99p shop with you know with a pound coin. I've probably got one in me in my wallet to be fair, but you you keep you keep coins in your wallet. Yeah, I use cash, yeah. I try to get rid of. And I'd hate cash. I fucking hate to because it's just inconvenient. See, this is the problem with society these days, though. Everyone wants convenience all the time. It is, it is, it is though.

34:38Right.

34:38Nothing walking around with these. So if I said you're right, so it's like nothing. Now you now you've really got me going here. I tell you what, then, take your cards off your Apple Wallet. No, you're not allowed to use your phone to pay for anything. It wouldn't bother me. I don't use it that often anyway. Really? Yeah. I have it there because it's convenient. Well, what's wrong with convenience? Nothing, but when you're relying on it all the time, that's the problem I am. No, you don't. You don't get to. What have you phone and I don't charge? Every morning you don't get up and knit your fucking clothes that you're wearing. No. It's convenient that you've pre-bought them.

35:17Yeah.

35:18And then you pump them. Convenience, though, isn't it? That's common sense. Yeah, to be fair. Having something on your phone so you can go zap, zap, zap all the time and not actually know what you're spending. If you don't know what you're spending, I'm not I'm not suggesting irresponsibility. What I'm suggesting is I don't want to walk around with coins jangled in my pocket because to be honest, take coins out of your pocket and rub them in your hands, put the coins down, snap your fingers, and it makes well it makes me think, oh my god. Don't like it. Right? Okay. It's not a thing I've done. Have you got a coin?

35:56I have, but I don't get it.

35:58Get a coin and put it on the table. Ideally a dark coin. Not that I'm being racist or anything, but have you not got any of the is that the only coin you've got? I've probably got some more in my wallet, like you need uh you need a a one or a two, or let's see if you got any ones.

36:15Look how wide that one is haven't you gone?

36:19A little pouch, yeah, huh? You've got a little pouch. Two pence. Right, right. One pence. Right. Get get get the get the one and the two. I'm gone. Fifty pence. Right, you can you can stop now. Twenty pence? It's like I feel like a prostitute you're tipping me.

36:36On a five pence? Oh, we've got every day I've got them all there, don't I? Okay, right. Oh, and a quid.

36:42Oh quid's quids uh quids are unusual. Right, pick up the two the two coffers. Are they coppers? Well they used to be, yeah. Right right. So if like rub them in your fingers, no, one in each hand, just in case one isn't a stinky penny and the other is.

37:01Right, where's the genie coming? Right now, put put 'em down. Smell your fingers. Follow copper. It's not copper. Follow copper. It's not copper. Copper doesn't metal doesn't smell. Copper does. Metal doesn't fucking smell. Right, okay, so what are you what are we swallowing them? The stuff on the coins. Right. How can you think co how can you think metal smells? What's it say? It doesn't smell.

37:39It doesn't smell.

37:40The paint, the paint will have an odour. The metal will not smell. Right, okay, so what's your point? My point is, right? One of the reasons that I don't have coins in my pocket, first of all is convenience, but for seconds, it it's sanitary reasons. It's disgusting having coins. All of that gymnastics. What about notes then? Notes. Yeah. Notes aren't quite as bad because they're plastic. Right. We're gonna finish on. You ready for this? Yeah. It's a finished sentence. Okay. Right? No explanation.

38:10Right.

38:11First thing that comes into your head. Okay, here we go. I peaked the day I was born. Boom. On that note.